What do you do when people constantly criticize you for being yourself?

I’m black but I guess I’m not black enough for some people. I’m constantly ridiculed for not talking “black” (as they tell me), I get made fun of for the types of music I listen to (my faves are Pop, Country and Rock but I listen to everything else as long as I like it). My Black friends call my music preferences “White people music” (WTF is that???). Basically, nothing I do is Black according to them.

When it comes to the slang talk, I know for a fact I would sound ridiculous if I try speaking that way. I’m able to text in slang but I have a slight Haitian accent and it would sound stupid if I even tried talking in slang. But when I text some of my friends in slang, they say “so you’re black on paper and not in person”. I can never win. What they fail to understand is that I was not born in the U.S. Sure I’ve spent half of my life here (11 years), but I spent the first 11 years of my life in Haiti. Black Americans seem to speak differently (not all). But I grew up speaking French and Creole. There’s not much slanging you can do with those languages. With the music, I just can’t help what I like. I learned English partially by listening to the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, Britney Spears and those types of music. And I do like soft Rap.

It’s frustrating when people tell me to be myself and stop being fake when I’m being myself 100%. I mean I would not be able to fake who I am and the way I talk for this long. It would take quite a lot out of me. They even go as far as calling me ‘OREO’ (White on the inside Black on the outside). It’s frustrating when I hear that I don’t dance, talk, or do anything black enough.

So, I’m wondering if I should start faking who I really am to please those people or should I continue trying to convince them that this is who I really am?
To Kιττγ Ηαϖκ, I live in Miami, FL

Author: Libra Angel
Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/?qid=20090809133352AAN5YBg

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This entry was posted on Saturday, July 16th, 2011 at 4:31 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

70 Responses to “What do you do when people constantly criticize you for being yourself?”

  1. fernypool Says:

    as long as you know the difference between ghetto slang and proper pronunciation..if you don’t you’ll be unemployable cold hard fact..

  2. The Whole Thing I think is SIC Says:

    I gnore them idiots. You cannot let them win! If you begin to feel bad or assimilate into something they will accept your letting them win! NEVER FAKE YOUR PERSONALITY! It might work for a while. You’ll make more friends, but they dont like the REAL you, just this fake image you have created. You’ll be lying to everyone else and most importantly, YOURSELF. Dont worry about those people, your opinon is all that should really matter. If you have friends that you have to change your personality just o get along with, theyre not really your friends.

  3. ICY Says:

    I don’t understand why you think those people are your friends.

  4. ♥Ello ♥ Vee ♥ E♥ Says:

    Who cares? Be yourself… My friends and family make fun of the way I talk and the music I listen to, but I know it’s all love. Whose friends or family NEVER poke fun at them sometimes?

    When people care about you, you’ll know. Stop hanging around people that will put you down for being you and hang around people that will enjoy you for who you are.

    And you don’t have to convince anyone of ANYTHING. When you cut them out of your life and you continue being you, they’ll see it’s who you really are. As you get older, you will see that kind of stuff doesn’t even matter anymore.

  5. thinker Says:

    Keep being yourself. I’m guessing you’re young, early 20s? It’s good that you recognize everyone is different, regardless of race. It’s a lesson some people never get. Now realize that if your friends are bringing you down, get more friends who bring you up. You may find better contacts on college campuses if you haven’t gone yet, and even then, it may depend on the campus. Intelligent people are less likely to group people, even people of their own race. As you move up in the world, you’ll find more intelligent people.

  6. Derek Antonio gone country Says:

    I think you need new friends. True friends wouldn’t criticize you. I’m half black and I listen to a lot of Country and Rock and I don’t speak in slang and I don’t get criticize for it, so it’s just your particular friends. Listen, don’t change who you are and what you like. Don’t change for anyone but yourself. Your friends the one’s that criticize you are just immature and I think just trying to be funny.

    Don’t start faking who you are, if you do eventually it will make you feel terrible and disgusted. I think you should try to convince them who you really are and if that doesn’t work you need to dismiss them as your friends because as long as their your friends they’ll continue to criticize you for not being black enough, which makes you uncomfortable and you don’t need that, nor deserve it. True friends don’t make you feel uncomfortable or like an outcast.

    Continue being yourself and don’t let anyone change you, ever. Find new friends if you have to but don’t change who you are okay. Your young like me so you’ll find new friends as you start to get older.

  7. sfresh is a white guy Says:

    TURN WHITE IT WORKED FOR ME LOL

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  8. Naruto777 Says:

    Michael and Janet Jackson did pop music and they’re black (Michael was genetically).

  9. Kιττγ Ηαϖκ Says:

    Where do you live?
    I’m black/white and I’vee been told I dance white and dress white.
    I can dance but I’m shy because of past criticizing.
    I dress “white” supposedly because I like wearing skinny jeans and converses and love wearing plaid.
    I notice blacks wearing converses, Roxy, hollister etc now a days, I guess times are changing.
    I used to listen to hard rock, but I’m much of a R&B fan because of where I live and that is what mostly the teens around here listen to. So it’s hard to meet someone who plays guitar.

    You should ignore those people and do you.
    But where do you live?

  10. Mattymc323 Says:

    What do you do ? That is an interesting dilemma. I have actually given this sort of thing a lot of thought. So I will pose another question to all of the people answering this question : Why is it acceptable for white people to have diversity of thought but not blacks ? Why is it that blacks are ridiculed and ostracized for thinking for themselves and following their own path ? It extends to something much deeper than simple intolerance. It goes for style, fashion, politics and every aspect of daily life. Ask yourself what a black person would be referred to by their friends and family if say they voted for John McCain in the last election. Then ask yourself why Clarence Thomas was targeted by Al Sharpton and his Cronies ? He was the perfect picture of overcoming adversity, poverty, and oppression. So why was it ok for Al Sharpton to follow his ministry the way he felt led but not Thomas ? Because Thomas’ philosophy was one that sided with most conservatives. You should really read his autobiography it sounds like you have a lot in common with him. But that’s not a bad thing He is a great man.
    The answer to your question is a bit of hard pill to swallow and it might even sound bigoted. So please excuse me because this is definitely going to offend some people. The Black culture as it stands today is extremely closed minded and intolerant toward it’s own ranks. The BET-Ghetto culture has polluted the black family and does not tolerate dissent. It poisons the the discourse of African American education and eliminates the possibility of free exchange thought. But it extends far beyond the just the black community. Whites have an artificial stereotype that we have come to associate with blacks. It’s not all negative but it seems to permeate in our culture none the less. So what do you do ? Well the same thing Clarence Thomas did, the same thing that Conde Lisa Rice did, And the same thing as Armstrong Williams : Keep your head up and don’t be discouraged by people who want to keep you in their rank and file. Believe in the power of your own convictions and never stop being who you are.

  11. Ed the Sophomore Says:

    Ahhh. That’s the one thing that gets on my nerves about black Americans (some) today. Thinking that all of us blacks have to dress like them, listen to rap/hip hop, talk like them, and even act like them. Some think that if you do anything other than that then you’re automatically acting white.

    I don’t think you should try to be something you’re not. You should tell your friends that they can either accept who you are, or you will just go and find yourself some REAL friends. Cause, who said you just had to hang out w/ black people? But they might think you’re some Uncle Tom or something if you ditch them for other friends..say friends who aren’t black..but who cares?

    I can say for a fact that me and most black people that are in my area, or at my school, don’t hang out at all. Most of my friends aren’t even black. I’m not into rap/hip hop, I don’t like to dress like them, and more importantly..I’m not gonna change who I am just to make them happy.

  12. ♥Jamaican Sweethart♥ Says:

    No, please don’t become another walking stereotype.When people at my school tell me I don’t act black enough I take it as a compliment and move on with a smile.You remind me of myself because I was born and lived in Jamaica for a few years but have lived in America for most of my life and still don’t talk with slang.People will like you more for being yourself!They are not your real friends if they want to change you.

    ▐▄ ☼▐▄

  13. Your Momma Says:

    Always be true to yourself, never fake yourself for anyone else.
    Those who do not accept you have the problem, not you. Your only problem is to find a way to rid yourself;f of their “friendship”

  14. The Dreamer (Short Circuit) Says:

    I say f*ck them. Plain and simple.

    Don’t spend your time trying to satisfy your friends, because when it’s all done and said with, what did you get out of it all? Approval from friends that only like you as long as you adhere to some retarded stereotypes? It’s not worth it.

    I have the same problems.
    Ask yourself this, do you really want to be friends with people who are going to ridicule you as long as you don’t adhere to the Black stereotype? It’s your call.

    I realized that at a young age and I’ve been happy ever since.

  15. kayla Says:

    Ignore those people they probably aren’t brave enough to listen to different types of music because they are punks that are afraid they might be criticized and because they are black they feel they have to listen to black music it’s not true. Well I am proud to be “acting” and “talking” white myself LOL!!! and you should too.

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  46. small kids games Says:

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    My mind was blown when I’ve saw for the first time this sweet piece of game. Freshest phone game from a one of the best game studios, featuring such awesome and shadowgun enemies that I’m still stunned and consternated. Seeing untold amounts of zombie bugs dead, trigger constantly twitching as I was firing my shadowgun and tossing explosives everywhere. Silent lead character reminisced me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has many additional gameplay features. Our armor gets to be personalized which is the only thing that lets us persist even deeper into this science fiction nightmare. Modern warfare gets mixed with dark and cynical sci-fi, where shadowgun exploration gave us only ineffable dismay of having Earth occupied by dead zombie bugs. Billions of them, in fact. All hungry for our blood and our goods! Cool ego shooter, hard waffen, wow.
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  48. asphalt Says:

    Dive straight deep into hardcore driving action in this sweet fresh android production. Choose from the fastest GT cars, sit in front of the wheel and push the pedal to the metal. Realistic driving simulation gives you the freedom to check your driving skills through diverse challenges in beautiful tracks all around the globe. Drift mania in rally racing with next-gen mechanics will delight any person. Choose your car from many known brands such as bmw, ford or audi. Appease your need for speed by racing against players in multiplayer mode. This overdrive mobile app allows you to play with the best racers like a professional in NASCAR or Le Mans. Melt the asphalt on 8 various courses as you compete against the clock. Put your prowess to test and beat the leaderboards as you push your gt car to the limits of your need for speed. Underground drag competition mixed with csr racing brings the ultimate gameplay feel. The gameplay is designed to put you in the heat of action as you drive through the dust rising from the asphalt overdrive. As 8 races passed I still don’t feel dulled by this app. Even Need for Speed World started to be repetitive after a little time which is not the case in this fast and furious spiritual offspring. Need for Racing: New Speed Car even provides you with the possibility to personalize your car by modding it anyhow you choose.

  49. goat stimulator Says:

    Funny animal and his engaging story that educates about protecting the environment and ecology. Interactive story for toddlers, goat in the forest in peril. Easy way to learn reading by having the story spoken by the lector. Only your toddlers can help it while practicing reading. It’s a storytelling game about a goat, simulator of listening to a storyteller reading the story to thine babies. Anyones kids are going to love it. Cute drawings to have fun with and learn. Learning story that is child safe because of the lack of privacy forms. Educating storytelling experience with tiger for children and kids. Educational tale adventure for your preschool children who certainly love goats. 5 year old children will like it, storybook, and also will every kids which knows how to drag his finger on the screen. Casual to watch and fun to get in contact with nature.

  50. dead bugs Says:

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    Quiet and strong protagonist reminded me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has many more gameplay features. Our defenses gets to be personalized which is the only thing that lets us advance even further into this sci-fi nightmare.
    Only the best feats of modern warfare mixed with an fast trigger finger will allow you to win over the dead bugs. Great graphics encourage you to follow your call of duty. Combat in modern style your fear when travelling through future human cities and throwing barrages of bullets from your shadowgun, become the ultimate mobile frontline commando, murdering numerous like an android.
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    Become a frontline commando with your pistol blazing, or snipe the undead beasts from huge distances. All using only your touch display.

  51. dead bugs Says:

    My brain was astonished when I’ve first seen this sweet piece of game. Become a frontline commando with your guns flaming, or snipe the undead devils from huge distances. Witnessing myriads of zombie bugs dead, trigger invariably beating as I was firing my shadowgun and tossing grenades everywhere. All using only your android display. Freshest android game from a one of the best game studios, displaying such magnificent and shadowgun antagonists that I’m still stunned and awe strucked.
    Our defenses gets to be customized which is the only thing that lets us continue even deeper into this science fiction horror.
    Only the best feats of modern warfare mixed with an itchy trigger finger will allow you to achieve victory over the undead zombies. Cool graphics encourage you to heed your call of duty. Combat in modern style your fear when travelling through future Earth locations and throwing barrages of bullets from your shadowgun, become the extreme mobile frontline commando, murdering numerous like an android.
    Silent main character reminisced me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has many additional gameplay features.
    Superb gameplay! Modern warfare gets mixed with gloomy and cynical futurism, where deep space exploration gave us only unspeakable panic of having Terra infested by dead zombie invaders. Humongous numbers of them, in fact. All hungry for our lives and our assets! Cool ego shooter, hard waffen, wow.

  52. waffen Says:

    My brain was astonished when I’ve first seen this awesome piece of action. Newest mobile game from a one of the best game studios, displaying such magnificent and grand enemies that I’m still stunned and consternated. Seeing uncountable zombie bugs dead, trigger constantly beating as I was firing my shadowgun and tossing explosives around. Silent main character reminded me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has several more gameplay features. Our defenses gets to be personalized which is the only thing that lets us continue even further into this sci-fi horror. Modern warfare gets blended with gloomy and pessimistic futurism, where shadowgun exploration gave us only unspeakable panic of having Terra occupied by dead zombie bugs. Humongous numbers of them, in fact. All hungry for our lives and our homes! Cool ego shooter, hard waffen, wow.
    Become a frontline commando with your pistol flaming, or snipe the zombie devils from large areas. All using only your touch screen. Only the best exploits of modern warfare mixed with an fast trigger finger will let you to win over the undead zombies. Cool graphics encourage you to follow your call of duty. Combat in modern style your fear when travelling through future Earth locations and shooting your shadowgun, become the ultimate mobile frontline commando, shooting numerous like an android.

  53. angry birds Says:

    Entertaining goat and his engaging tale that teaches about saving the environment and nature. Interactive tale for kids, goat in the woods in trouble. Simple style to learn reading through having the story spoken by the narrator. Truly your kids can save him while practicing reading. It is a storytelling game about a chamois, simulator of having a narrator reading the story to thine kids. Anyones babies shall love this. Cute drawings to entertain and teach. Teaching apps that is child proof because of the lack of privacy forms. Interactive storytelling experience with animals for toddlers and kids. Educational tale play for your 6 year old toddlers who certainly love animals. 4 year old kids will love it, storybook, and also shall any babies which learned how to swipe his hand on the screen. Quick to watch and fun to get in contact with outdoors.

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  58. billiards game Says:

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  61. asphalt racing Says:

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  62. dead trigger Says:

    This kind first person shooter entertainments is a fresh type of spending a little free time on your smartphone. This superb and last first person shooter will blast you away into a plane of pain. Mass Effect was really created on basis on this android entertainment. When you fight away a bunch of cybernetic antagonists. Call of Duty at it’s finest. Do not look back and proceed with the killing. Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare is the thing that truly rustles player’s jimmies. In the grim dark nightmare of distant future, there is nothing but combat with androids. Frontline commando fights in distant battlefield in mass effect. The game is made with easy swipe control for your entertainment. This type of fps game are the doom of player’s free time. Battlefield is a game for android and it’s possible to get it on android market. This first person shooter game will set you happy. Go ahead and place yourself in this mass effect esque game.

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  65. call of duty modern warfare Says:

    My mind was blown when I’ve first seen this awesome piece of action. Freshest android game from a one of the best game studios, displaying such awesome and horrible antagonists that I’m still shocked and appaled. Seeing uncountable zombie bugs dead, trigger constantly fluttering as I was launching my shadowgun and tossing grenades everywhere. Quiet and strong main character reminded me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has several additional gameplay features. Our bulletproof vest gets to be customized which is the only thing that lets us continue even deeper into this science fiction horror. Modern warfare gets mixed with dark and cynical sci-fi, where deep space exploration gave us only ineffable dismay of having Earth occupied by dead zombie bugs. Billions of them, in fact. All hungry for our blood and our homes! Cool ego shooter, hard waffen, wow.
    Become a frontline commando with your pistol blazing, or snipe the undead beasts from huge areas. All using only your tablet screen. Only the best stunts of modern warfare mixed with an quick trigger finger will let you to succeed over the monstrous zombies. Realistic graphics encourage you to heed your call of duty. Combat in modern style your anxiety when traversing future human locations and shooting your shadowgun, become the ultimate mobile frontline commando, killing numerous like an android.
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  66. Real Race Asphalt Road Racing google play Says:

    I have recently come across a fresh racing game for smartphones, its name is Real Race: Asphalt Road Racing and it’s nearly like a simulator with arcade gameplay. Racing around desert dunes and steppes, avenues and roads, it’s like Need for Speed Carbon or Most Wanted, and actually the newest edition, NFS: Rivals.
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  67. call of duty modern warfare Says:

    My mind was blown when I’ve saw for the first time this awesome piece of action. Freshest tablet game from a top of the line game studio, showing such awesome and horrible antagonists that I’m still shocked and appaled. Seeing countless zombie bugs dead, trigger steadily fluttering as I was firing my shadowgun and throwing explosives everywhere.
    Ominous main character reminisced me of the old Doom PC game, though Combat Trigger: Modern Dead 3D has several additional gameplay features. Our health gets to be customized which is the only thing that lets us proceed even further into this sci-fi horror.
    Only the best exploits of modern warfare combined with an quick trigger finger will let you to succeed over the undead monsters. Awesome graphics encourage you to heed your call of duty. Combat in modern style your dread when travelling through future Earth locations and shooting your shadowgun, become the ultimate mobile frontline commando, killing numerous like an android.
    Modern warfare gets blended with murky and depressed futurism, where deep space exploration gave us only indescribable horror of having Earth occupied by dead zombie bugs. Millions of them, actually. All hungry for our blood and our paraphernalia! Cool ego shooter, hard waffen, wow.
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  70. NFL Game Says:

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